2012/04/15 - 2nd Sunday Easter - "Doubts"

I think poor ole Thomas has gotten a bad rap over the years.  Seems like most of the time, we hear that Gospel reading and think the message is that we shouldn’t doubt… we should just have faith.  Many of us may have grown up thinking that this Church stuff is all about Faith – and we shouldn’t ask questions because that means we’re having doubts…and if we have doubts, then obviously we don’t have enough Faith.  So we never ask the questions.

I think the message of today’s Gospel is just the opposite:  Don’t ignore your doubts.

 If we never doubt, we would never ask questions.  And if we never ask questions, we’ll never look for answers.  And if we never look for answers, then we’ll never find the truth and believe it with all our heart.

This past Wednesday, I got to have dinner with several of our parishioners who are attending USI.  We like to go to Hacienda a couple times each semester just to keep up with each other and have some good food.  Besides – I gave up chips and salsa for Lent, so it was time to break my fast!  This week we got to talking about some questions that their non-Catholic friends have asked them.  Things like why we have to go to Confession to a priest?  Whether it’s OK to marry somebody who’s not Catholic.  Why do we call our Priest ‘Father’, when other churches call their minister ‘Pastor’?

I encouraged them to ask questions.  If they never ask questions and find the answers, then they’ll never know the TRUTH, and when somebody approaches them with some seemingly logical arguments from the Bible, they ‘might’ be pulleed away from the Church. 

If we’re honest with ourselves, probably every person at one time or another has doubts about God – about Jesus – about the Catholic Church.  Some of us are so strong in our doubt that we’re SURE that the Church is wrong about one teaching or another.  I’m here to tell you that it is OK to have doubts – in fact, doubting can be the first step in really understanding something.  Thomas is a great example… – he was the doubter, and he wasn’t afraid to admit it – but after today’s encounter with Jesus, he ended up travelling all the way to southwest India and started a sect of the Catholic Church which still survives today in the midst of an overwhelming Hindu and Muslim population.  This same guy who at first doubted the Resurrection – once he had the proof, he caught fire and wanted to spread that message to the world.  In the end, he was martyred for his faith.  Know the Truth can change our life.

More dangerous is the person who never doubts at all.  This can happen one of two ways – First way is that I just accept everything the church teaches me and never really try to understand it.  What’s the danger here?  Look at all the people leaving the church… my guess is that most of them fall into this category.  They accept all the teachings, but never really try to understand it… so when somebody from another faith approaches them with some logical arguments, they are swept away by the logic of it and they walk away from the Church that Jesus started.  I myself used to fall into this category – I accepted the Catholic teachings until I was in college – then an atheist professor made me question for the first time.  His logic led me to question whether God even exists!  Several years later, anti-catholics came at me with very logical arguments against the Church which the Bible seemed to support.  Thank God I had the wits about me to question what they were saying…. In a way – it was their arguments which made me doubt – and it was that doubt that made me start searching for answers.  It was only through that search that this Catholic faith became ‘mine’.  What I mean by that is – I no longer went to church just because I was told to as a kid… but because I truly believe in our Catholic faith.  In fact, it was only through that doubt that I caught fire enough to want to serve Jesus as a Deacon.  Ever listen to Scott Hahn’s conversion?  Or read Rome Sweet Home?  Powerful stuff – he explains the multi-year story of how he started doubting his non-Catholic tradition and through his research found that all the answers were contained in Catholic Doctrine.  Now he, like Thomas, is spending his life trying to spread that fire and Truth to others.  I personally credit his story with helping to keep me solidly planted here in the Church.

The other danger is for those who have doubts – and are so SURE of themselves that they know the “Real Truth”…. But they never really check out WHY the Church teaches what they do.  For example, maybe you’re POSITIVE that the Church is wrong about confession to a Priest – or maybe you are SURE that the churches stand on contraception is old-fashioned and no longer relevant – or maybe you are Positive that the Eucharist really isn’t the Body and Blood of Jesus, or maybe you think Purgatory is just an old superstition.  If you or I fall into this category where we have doubts that are SO strong that we “KNOW” the Church is wrong  - but we never take the time to really research WHY the church teaches what they do, then we are in a dangerous position.  We may leave the church – or worse yet – we may infect other people with our un-informed opinions and lead THEM away from the truth.  Remember what Jesus said – it is better to tie a millstone around your neck and drop in the sea than to lead someone away from the Truth.

Now – this may surprise you – but did you know that it is OK to disagree with the Church!?  Really!  But listen carefully…there are two conditions.  You are actually morally obligated to go against Church teachings IF 1) you believe it would be morally wrong to FOLLOW that teaching and (and this is important) 2) you have fully formed your conscience – in other words, you have fully researched the REASONING behind the teaching and you have approached God in prayer to seek His wisdom about the teaching.

If you really take that seriously, chances are, you will never find a situation that fits the criteria – and therefore, you’ll never come across a situation where you can morally disregard any one teaching of the Church.

We will only know the truth if we ask the question… and we will only ask the question if we admit that we have a doubt.

Haiti 2012 - Last Day on this planet

It is Monday morning, and it is the first day that has started with no clouds - so it promises to be a hot one.  We will try to finish up the two little projects we started Saturday.  We'll finish using the paint we have left on the school, and Gary will work on the electrical system at the nuns' house.  Already three people have requested meetings with us.  Two are mothers of students who are in the University studying to be a doctor.  We have some tough decisions to make.

God-willing, tonight at 3 am we start the drive to Cap Haitien... the first leg of our journey that will take us out of THIS world and back to the world we're accustomed to.  While many things are the same here and there like the basic needs for shelter, food, love, sleep, etc., how we fill those needs is often a world of difference.

Shelter:  their houses are all open to the air.  They have no problem with it getting cold (although 55 would seem freezing to them), but more often they need that air flow to keep the house from getting too warm.  The house is simply where you sleep and the few possessions you own are stored.  Families sit outside... talking, singing, fixing each other's hair rather than each person having their own room and watching TV or surfing the web or talking on the phone.  Which world is better???

Food:  all the food has been BON! (good).  Rice is served most meals along with a few beans or onions mixed in.  The Poule (chicken) and Cabrit (goat) meat were particularly flavorful - and even the Conch they served us today was delicious (although a bit rubbery).  There are always a selection of veggies and/or fruit available - and it seems that they have a new drink for us to try at LEAST once a day (including an alcoholic beverage they served us this morning for breakfast ;).  We ate soup for breakfast and oatmeal for supper.  We drink bottled water, which we still treat with chlorine drops as an added precaution.  We wash our hands almost to the point of hypochondriacs to prevent spreading germs.  So far, the only sickness we have had has been due to allergies or dehydration, so the precautions have been succesful so far.  (along with all those prayers y'all are sending out on our behalf)

Sleep:  noise is a constant.  Roosters, dogs, goats, birds, people talking and pounding on things, sweeping, singing... and if a silent moment should happen upon them, they'll turn on a radio (when electricity is available).  You either get used to it - or wear ear plugs.  We sleep under mosquito nets to help prevent malaria and dengue fever (plus it helps Maddie to feel more secure that the spiders can't get to her).  On the other hand, we have undoubtedly gotten more sleep here than at home - which shows that we CAN adjust to this slower pace of life.  Which world is better?

One thing that we share is our Catholic liturgy.  Even though we don't understand what is being said, the motions and timing are such that we always know what is going on and where we are in the Mass.  Yesterday was Palm Sunday, and we got to participate in the procession from the other side of town to the church.  I wonder what OUR community would think if we still did that?  Mass lasted almost three hours... and I KNOW what our community would think if we did THAT!

While many things will remain the same when we get home, hopefully some of this place and these people will come home with us.  We are not so different, but we live in two different worlds.  May we continue to help them until our last day on the planet.

Haiti 2012 - Put a band-aid where it hurts

It's been basically an un-eventful week in Dupity.  Daily scattered showered tease us, but seem to only provide needed rain to the higher country.  We are thankful for the clouds - as it gets very hot when the sun is shining full. 

Saturday, Maddie, Eric, and Mike worked with a group of kids to paint two classrooms.  Gary (along with Max and Baba) worked on installing a solar panel at the Nun's house.  It felt so good to finally DO something.  I'm sure it's selfish of us to want to do this... just to make US feel good.  On the other hand, if we never felt useful, I suppose we wouldn't have the incentive to come back.  I pray God will forgive us this selfishness.

While two rooms now have beautiful coats of paint, you can turn around and see the rest of the school which still is bare and very rough conrete block.  I see things as analogies - so I see the paint as simply a band-aid to cover the hurt.  Perhaps it will lift the spirits of the youth who attend there and 'perhaps' give them a daily reminder that we are with them in solidarity.  I also fear that the paint is an analogy for the help we provide overall.  Yes - we do commendable things:  sponsoring students, bakery, clinic, nutrition center, orphanage, parish... but in the end, is this just a band-aid for the incurable wound that Haiti endures?  A quick glance around at the fires in the distance reminds us that the forests are only a couple of years from being gone.  Then what? 

Allergies, headaches, minor scrapes, and a slightly upset stomache are the normal inconveniences we endure - but are nothing compared to what they deal with daily.  So we offer it up as part of our Lenten sacrifice for the people of Haiti.

Today we met with the students we have sponsored - probably 150 or so were present!  That was a sign of hope!  Even some who had already graduated came back to say 'thank you'.  They sang, danced, put on a skit, and presented us with gifts as a token of appreciation.

Hard to believe just one more day here in Dupity.  We head toward Cap Haitian at 3 am Tuesday morning and hope to be back in our own beds Tuesday night.  Less than 20 hours of travel-time, but a WORLD apart.

Maddie and Eric and already talking about coming back.  That's the best sign that the people of Haiti still can touch our hearts if we give our time to visit.  I pray that somehow God will show us to do more than just "put a band-aid where it hurts".

Haiti 2012 - Getting there is more than just traveling

Traveling is almost always tiring. In the case of going to the remote mountains of Haiti, it can be an ordeal. God saw fit to grease the skids for us this time down...meaning all flights were on time as hoped. Tuesday started at 3:30 am to prepare for the trip to the Miami airport...the 2 hour flight to Port-au-Prince was uneventful and allowed a bit of napping. When Haiti came into view, our eyes were fixed out the window taking in all we could with that single sense of sight: The bare mountains, tan, dry earth, the beautiful blue water with the occasional small home-made sail boats used by the fisherman, and the increasing amount of white stuff floating in the water (presumably trash).

I expected to see widespread devastation as a result of the earthquake, but other than the increase of blue roofing and occasional tarps, it looked just as I had left it three years ago... Lots of tin roofs and half-built houses. We were surprised to get to use a gangway to enter the airport...a luxury I had never experienced in Haiti...but evidence of the earthquake soon became evident as many parts of the airport are under reconstruction.

Other than a 2 mile drive to the other end of the airport, we elected not to stick around in Port-au-Prince...having heard of recent unrest where the people are most desparate. The other senses started kicking in... The smells of diesel, the feel of heat and humidity as the temperature neared 90 degrees, the sounds of men speaking Creole fast and ardently... Chickens and pigs roaming... It is definitely a different world here.

The other sense to get in on the action in the sense of Time. Waiting is a constant reality. Wait in line. Wait for the flight. Wait to land. Wait for them to get our bags. Wait for the NEXT flight to arrive so hopefully your bags will arrive (and they did!).

The main roads are still in good shape (thank God!), but we still had a couple hours of driving on the REALLY bad road into the mountains. Surprisingly, the state has projects going to put concrete on some spots most prone to wash-outs, but all in all, I would say the road is worse than before (or at least as bad). The legs and rear-end were quite happy to disembark from the truck.

Our sense of taste finally got in on the action as we sat down to a dinner of beans and rice, fish, carrots, beets, peas, and bread. A feast fit for any Haitian Kind... but simple by our normal standards. (In our first 24 hours, we have already eaten more meat than the average Haitian eats in a month.) However, the food was delicious and the portions plentiful, so we quickly recuperated from our travels and settled in to learn more about the folks with whom we would spend the next week. Fr. Fanuel is a gracious host, trying his best to anticipate our every need. Baba is our interpreter. Max is the Jack of all trades who is here to help us make some progress on our projects.

Early to bed... To be awakened by the church bells at 6:15... That is...if we were actually sleeping through all of the roosters that started in at 4 am. I know by the end of the week we will be able to sleep through it as well as we sleep through a Homily at home. ;)

Today (Wednesday) we learned more about the political intricacies involved in making things happen in Haiti. Two years ago, there was running water in town. We found out that the water is not working. Great, we thought... We can fix that! However, there are multiple people and organizations involved, and Fr. Fanuel advised that we not touch that system this time. We came prepared to work on electrical systems, but priorities seem to have changed... So, we will be discussing this evening what CAN we do?!

It would be easy to allow the sense of frustration and hopelessness to overtake us when we hit roadblocks preventing us from accomplishing things. But then we spent an hour playing ball with the kids in the street and our sense of humanity and desire to help came back. The Lord tells us we must give preferential treatment to the needy. We NEED to help in order to bring about the Kingdom of God. Our sense of purpose prevails.

Now all of our senses are involved. I guess that means we are finally "there".

Haiti 2012 - Headed to Dupity Monday

On Monday, March 26, 2012 - four of us will be headed to Louisville to start our journey to Dupity in Haiti.
Dupity is a village in the mountains in the northeastern section of Haiti. Gary Boice, Maddie Messmer, Eric Messmer, and Deacon Mike Seibert are going this time, and we would VERY much appreciate prayers for our Safety, Health, and that we may accomplish God's will.

IF we can get the generator running and fuel is available and IF the satellite works, we MIGHT be able to post blogs daily, so check back starting next Wed or Thurs.

Homily 2012 March 18 - that the Glory of God may be Revealed

If I was this blind man in the Gospel, I’d be downright ticked-off at God!  So let’ pretend for a minute I am that blind man.  (put on sunglasses)

I was just sitting here, minding my own business, sitting with all the other blind men at the entrance of the Temple begging – just like I do every day… then I heard somebody ask a question that caught my attention:  “was this man blind because of his own sin or the sin of his parents?”  My ears perked up – I’ve wondered the same thing my whole life.  See – it seems to me that… I was BORN blind, so there’s no way I could have sinned to deserve this, so it MUST have been my parents.  You know – I’ve never really forgiven them for that.

But the answer I heard confused me.  There was another man – It was a voice I didn’t recognize, but I  could tell he spoke with authority – He said I WASN’T blind because of sin.  What?  Not because of sin?!  Everybody KNOWS that blindness and physical ailments are signs that God is punishing somebody for sin… So why else WOULD I be blind?  I could hear that voice coming closer as he continued… this man is blind “so that the works of God might be made visible through him”.  Are you kidding?   I’ve spent 30 years blind – begging every day – starving half the time - and not only that, but think of what my parents had to go through:  Every time anybody looked at ME – they looked at my parents and said – They MUST be major sinners.  There were shunned by society.  And now you’re telling me that this was all some scheme that God cooked-up to allow Jesus to restore my sight today…. Just so he could work some ‘hocus-pocus’ to impress the crowds!??    Sorry, Jesus – but if that’s the kind of God you represent, I ain’t buying.  The God I know should PREVENT this kind of suffering.  The God I know should provide healing as soon as my parents asked for it… not 30 years later!  God is NOT supposed to CAUSE this kind of suffering!

When I got over my indignation, I got to thinking about what Jesus said… he said I’m not a sinner!... well.. I AM a sinner, but no more than anybody else!  My blindness was not a sign of my sinfulness.  That’s comforting.
Also – I’m actually kinda excited about the fact that I was part of Jesus’ plan.  He planned from the beginning that I would be a central part to helping people to believe in him.  The more I think about it – that is soooo cool.  My blindness and MY healing will be read about in churches for centuries to come and my blindness and my healing will help people to believe in Jesus.  I can’t think of a greater privilege.
(sun glasses off)

I wish it was dark outside.  Or - I wish we could do these readings on Holy Saturday night.  If you’ve never been here for the Easter Vigil service – you need to try it out.  You know – a lot of people don’t go, because it lasts longer than normal, but it is THE most beautiful liturgy of the whole year.  That is the night when all of our Lenten fasts are end, so we can eat ice cream .  That is the night when Jesus is risen.  That is the night when we baptize and confirm our new members into the Church.  But I want to talk about the Liturgy – what we DO at that Mass, because I think it sheds some light on our Gospel today. 

Picture this:  we start the liturgy with a campfire outside – sounds weird, right!  We START Mass with a campfire – but there are no hotdogs involved.  We bless the fire and the new Easter Candle.  See this candle back here – that’s the Easter candle from last year – it’s getting kinda short.  Well, at the Easter Vigil is when we get a NEW Easter Candle.  This candle represents Christ himself.  Why would we use a Candle to represent Jesus?  Even in today’s Gospel, Jesus told us “while I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”  We say in our creed ‘God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God’.  Jesus IS our light.

So we bring that new Easter candle into the darkened church – symbolizing Christ coming into the world which is in darkness.  Now there are actually two symbols here – first – do you remember what the first thing was that God created in Genesis?  What did he say?  “Let there be Light”.  LIGHT was the first thing God created.  Imagine being there when it happened… total darkness and then BOOM…LIGHT!  Must have been amazing.  Later, Jesus was born in the darkness of a cold December night.  December just happens to be the time of year with the shortest days… that’s the darkest time of year in the Northern Hemisphere – so once again, God was bringing light to a world in darkness…and that’s what it’s like when we bring that candle into the dark church.
It gets even better though… like I said, all the lights are off – and Each person in the church has a candle and lights it from the Easter candle – symbolizing that each of us receives our light from Christ.  We receive our faith from Jesus!  If Jesus was not in the world, there would BE no source of Faith.  The fire is then passed down the rows from person to person – symbolizing that we pass-on our faith from person to person until… until the whole church is lit with the light of Christ… symbolizing what the world will be like once we have all spread the light of Christ to every corner of the globe.

Do you see how this connects with today’s Gospel?  This man born blind represents you and me.  All of us are born in darkness – in other words – none of us is born knowing Christ.  We don’t have the light of faith yet.  Now – notice the different stages of the journey this man took.  At first, when they’re questioning him, he says, ‘this man, Jesus put mud on my eyes and made me see’.  Later when they’re questioning him he says, this man is surely a prophet.  Still later, he comes to the conclusion that He must be from God, because only someone from God could make a blind man see.  Did you see the progression?  First Jesus is just a man, then he recognized him as a prophet, then ‘from God’.  Finally, after he’s thrown out of the temple, Jesus meets up with him and asks – do you believe in the Son of Man…. And the man believes and worships him as God… THE God.  God from God, Light from Light.

Our Catechumens have been on a journey for months now – going to classes, opening their minds and hearts and eyes to try to understand more about our Catholic Faith – and more about Jesus himself. 

Their journey – and ours - are much like the blind man’s journey.  We are born in darkness – not knowing Jesus.  It’s a lifelong process of getting to know him.  At some point, we all must let Jesus open our eyes so that we can look into the light… and then – just like the candles at the Easter Vigil – we CATCH FIRE!  Then we SPREAD that fire to everyone we come in contact with.  We BECOME the Light of Christ…. So that the Glory of God may be revealed – through US.

February 26,2012: LenT with a capital 'T'!

We were on vacation – driving through the mountains in Colorado.  We were tired of the highway – we wanted to get off the beaten path and see what else was out there!  All that land – there HAD to be something interesting out there… so we pulled off onto the next gravel road we found.  At first, it was exciting – something NEW – something unexpected… but after 30 minutes of driving slowly on the dusty rock road, it started to get old.  In fact, after 45 minutes on this road, I started to get a bit nervous… where was this taking us?  Then we came to a T in the road.  It wasn’t on the map, so we hadn’t a clue which way to go.  Right, left, or go back?  We chose to go right, hoping that it would take us someplace interesting… or maybe back to the highway.  But after another 30 minutes of steep hills and washboarded roadways that rattled our teeth, we came to another T.  Again – right, left, or go back?  We KNEW that to go back, we could get to familiar territory… but hated the thought of going back.  We were hoping we would find a short-cut back to the highway.  Finally, we turned back.  I sometimes wonder – if we hadn’t come to that T, when would we have turned around?

Most of us are travelling down the road of life at full-speed.  But…The road that this world puts before us is filled with curves… and it’s leading us AWAY from God… it’s leading us to where God is not… that is the definition of Hell.  The Psalm tells us, Lord, teach me your paths.  Jesus teaches us throughout scripture how to live –  you might say, He teaches us the path that is straight and narrow.  But the world makes it hard to follow that path…. We want to widen the path and make it easier to travel our own way… do what WE think is right and just.  Most of us are tempted by the curvy side-streets, seeking excitement – and then we keep going down that road until SOMETHING makes us change.  Something or somebody knocks us to our knees and we REALIZE that we really ought to get back to the straight and narrow. 

That’s what Lent is for.  The church puts this T in the road so that we have to slow down and decide which way we’re going to turn.  Without this intersection, we might never have a reason to slow down, much less turn around.  We sit at the intersection and crane our necks looking down one way and the other.  One way leads to the superficial happiness that this life offers – the other leads to more of the same dusty, bumpy roads.  Which way will we turn?  Right, Left, or turn around?  How many T’s do we need to come across before we finally decide that driving our own direction isn’t working…  How long til we repent and turn back toward God… ?

What does it look like?  To turn back to God?  My first thought came to me at a funeral Saturday morning.  Too often we get on the road of unforgiveness with somebody – and it only ends when we go to the funeral home.  In the end, we regret never having turned that relationship around.  What else does ‘turning back to God’ look like?  We do the things that the Scriptures TELL us to do:  love our neighbors, give up our selfishness, pray, fast, give to the poor, and go to Church.

Some people say, “I don’t need to go to church… I can pray in the woods.”  That’s Great!  How long did you spend in the woods praying today?  Last Sunday?  And the Sunday before that?  The same argument could be made that I don’t need to take my wife out on a date,…”I can tell her I love her at the supper table”.  That’s great.  Did you tell her last night?  The night before?

You and I have to develop habits… we have to set aside time to do the important stuff.  Without a community around us to help us stay on the straight and narrow, It’s too easy to allow time to just slip right by – and we look back and think – what have I been doing?  Think about your own life… did you accomplish anything yesterday?  Do you often find that hours and even days just seem to disappear, and you’re not really sure what happened?

Each of us has to look at our priorities in life.  We might all be able to sit here in the comfort of this church and agree that - if my life was perfect, I would spend 1 hour a day in prayer and reading the Bible, 1 hour exercising,  1 hour spending time with my kids, 1 hour just spending time with my wife, and 1 hour doing something for someone in need. 
Obviously, we can’t physically do it all every day… but do we do them at ALL?  Would you agree that each one of those things SHOULD be on our list of most-important-things?  Sooo….how much time did you pray yesterday?  How much of the Bible did you read?  How much time did you spend exercising?  Spending time with your kids?  Your wife?  Doing something for somebody in need?  Volunteering?
We live our lives as if we’re immortal – as if we’ve got all the time in the world.. so we constantly put-off those things we ‘should’ do.  It’s easy to get on the highway of Procrastination and never turn around.  One of the CD’s I just listened to said, “Live your life with the End in mind”.  In other words, when you’re on your deathbed looking back, what will you regret?  What do you want people to say about you when you’re gone?  Will their first statement be, “He really loved Jesus”?  She really gave selflessly?  She was always a good listener?  What do you WANT people to say?  What do you want GOD to say about you?
Figure out that answer, and then make a plan and DO it… NOW… so there will be no regrets.

A lot of people don’t really start LIVING until they realize that they are dying.  So live your life with the End in mind.

That is the genius of Ash Wednesday and Lent.  This is the T in the road to give us a chance to turn back to God; to check our priorities.  To remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return.